Ep.89/ Building an 800k social following: Modern Mom Probs Tara Clark
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Tara Clark went from marketing at Nickelodeon to stay at home mom to running a massive social media account Modern Mom Probs that’s extended into books and a podcast. She talks about how to grow your following and how to tackle the modern mom problems that we face, like isolation and the mental load. Plus we discuss exactly how she built a social media following of over 800,000.
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Do you feel like you don't have the confidence to put yourself out there on social media or how to even grow your social media?
Tara Clark went from marketing at Nickelodeon to stay at home mom to running a massive social media account Modern Mom Probs that’s extended into books and a podcast. She talks about how to grow your following and how to tackle the modern mom problems that we face, like isolation and the mental workload. Plus we discuss exactly how she built a social media following of over 800,000.
In this episode you will learn:
The top way to grow your following
How to build a community
How to feel less self conscious
How to handle feeling isolated as a parent
Advice for tackling the mental workload of parents
Quotes from our guest:
“I'll see myself on camera and be like, oh, I don't like the way my hair looks that day, or I don't like the way that I sound, and why do I speak like that and why do I have an accent? Whatever it happens to be. So just know that you are not alone in feeling like that, that people who literally do this for a living feel like that as well. Acknowledge that feeling and your feelings are valid in that, but put that aside and then go out there and make some freaking awesome videos.”
“You should be creating more than you are consuming.”
“Don't be shy to ask a question or if there's another creator whose work you really appreciate.”
Follow host Kim Rittberg on Instagram
Subscribe to Kim's YouTube Channel to Make Better Videos that Convert
FREE DOWNLOAD: Top 5 Tips To Be Confident on Camera Click Here
Follow host Kim Rittberg on Instagram & Subscribe to Kim's YouTube Channel to Make Better Videos that Convert
TARA’S LINKS:
Modern Mom Probs Website: https://modernmomprobs.com
Modern Mom Style Box, Clothing subscription service for busy moms
Follow Tara on Instagram!
Kim (00:02):
Tara Clark went from marketing at Nickelodeon to being a stay-at-Home Mom to launching a social media account called Modern Mom Probs that has 800,000 followers. She's extended that into books and a podcast. She talks about how to grow your following and how to tackle the modern mom problems that we face, like isolation and the mental workload. It is a great chat, so don't miss it.
(00:26):
Welcome to the Exit interview with Kim Rittberg. Do you work for yourself and want to supercharge your business while still having fun? Well, this is your go-to podcast part MBA Part Cheer Squad. Every week I'll be joined by top business owners who share the secrets to their success. After I found myself working during childbirth true story, I quit my executive media job to bet on myself fighting the fear and imposter syndrome to eventually earn six awards and in demand speaking career and features in Fast Company and Business Insider. Now I'm here to celebrate all you rock stars betting on yourself, and I want to help you win. Tune in every Wednesday to hear from remarkable founders and don't miss our Solo Friday episodes, a treasure trove of video and podcasting mini masterclasses with me. Exit the Grind, enter success on your own terms. Don't forget to subscribe today and grab my free video tips at my website, kimrittberg.com.
(01:27):
I met our next guest, Tara Clark, in person at a conference called Mom 2.0. I want to say I love a fun guest and a generous guest and a kind guest, and Tara absolutely is. I also find Tara's path fascinating. She's truly an expert on parenting. She runs a massive platform called Modern Mom Problems and she really has sort of an ear out about what people are facing and she talks to all of these experts about how to handle it and she has her own advice as well. So I wanted to ask her for advice to the most common issues parents are facing today, plus how she did it because she went from being a stay-at-Home Mom to running a social media account with 800,000 followers. So if you don't follow her now, you should follow Modern Mom probs. And speaking of growing your following, if you are looking to grow your business with video, grab my free download called 10 Tips to Make Video That Drives Revenue.
(02:18):
That's in the show notes or at kimrittberg.com/newsletter. And now without further ado, is Tara Clark of Modern Mom Probs. I am beyond excited to have Tara Clark on, I'm going to read her whole bio, but basically you probably already follow her Instagram anyway. I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to ruin the surprise. Tara Clark is an author, speaker, content creator, podcaster, and the founder of Modern Mom Probs. There I said it took away the spoiler after becoming a mom and recognizing a whole in the online space for moms to authentically connect, she launched her Instagram account in 2017. She has since built a valued community, solidifying herself as a humorous, trusted voice in the parenting space. She's the author of Modern Mom Probs, a Survival Guide for 21st Century Mothers, and her work has been featured in prominent publications including Buzzfeed today, motherly parents.com, scary Mommy Romper and Yahoo Life. And Tara is also the host of the Modern Moms podcast where she seeks to find solutions for modern mom problems by interviewing medical experts, therapists, popular content creators and bestselling authors. Tara, I'm so excited to meet you, to meet you, to chat with you. I need more coffee.
Tara (03:22):
Same. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Kim (03:26):
So I want to tell everybody that I have followed Tara's account, but I met her in person, actually we became Zoom buddies. We met through somebody, we had a Zoom, and I was like, this lady is so cool and lovely and kind, and I already knew that she held this insanely successful Instagram. So I think that sometimes we're like, I don't know what this person's going to be like. They have a really big business or they have a really big following or maybe some preconceived notion. Tara is the sweetest, warmest, most generous person. Then I got to meet her at Mom 2.0 in person. And so I'm just super excited for our listenership to get to know you better.
Tara (04:03):
Oh, thanks. I just want to give you a hug, Kim. I appreciate that. I feel the same way about you.
Kim (04:08):
Aw, thank you. I don't know why I probably shouldn't. I used to work in media and met a lot of celebrities and even when you work in celebrity adjacent or media, you should drop your expectations of what people should be like because you don't know who's who. Everyone's playing a role on tv, you're in the film, but we're humans and we want people to be nice and kind. And so I think that it was a real pleasure getting to know you and realizing you're this wonderful person. So I'm really excited to chat with you.
Tara (04:33):
But I always tell people that I'm actually even better in person than I am on social media because I feel everything on social media is so performative that I don't like to put on airs for social media. So what you see in real life is actually how I am.
Kim (04:47):
Oh my God, I love that. That's really funny. I'm going to be like, I'm even funnier in person than I am online and people are, you're not even funny online. I'm like, then great. What a surprises your point. What a wonderful treat for you. I'm going to make you laugh, but actually someone I know, my friend Terry Rice who's like a business consultant and he had me on his podcast for entrepreneur, and he's like, and Kim, who's like shockingly hilarious. I was like, it's only shocking to people who don't know me.
Tara (05:14):
I don't think that's a secret. I think you're super funny.
Kim (05:17):
Thank you. I think it's like when you exist online and you're like, this is the professional me, and it's like I still am the real me, but people who actually talk to me in person, I'm quite funny. So anyway, Tara, but this is about you. I want to talk about how you went from working in an office with carpet and cubicles and whatever to building and growing this huge platform. Talk to me about what that was like. What made you start it? Where were you at in your career?
Tara (05:43):
Yeah, absolutely. So I'll backtrack this all the way back to 2012. I used to work at Nickelodeon and I loved Nickelodeon. It was a wonderful place, fun office, such talented people. They were the best of the best. And in 2012 I worked in the social media department and at that point, technically that was under digital marketing. So this was when it was mostly Facebook and Twitter, Instagram, we weren't on Instagram at the time. And I ran Nick Jr and Nick at night. And so I was actually Dora the Explorer on Facebook and my mom used to run around and tell people my daughter's door of the explorer, my daughter's door of the explorer. And total shout out to your episode on my show is when we're talking about that our mothers are our biggest hype people. My mom is my biggest hype person. So she used to run around telling people the door of the explorer.
(06:31):
I was like on Facebook, mommy, on Facebook, not actually Dora the Explorer, any who. So I have a background in social media and when my son was born in 2012, I decided to stay home with him and it was a hard decision because I really loved working at Nickelodeon and I asked them, can I go part-time or maybe some sort of hybrid model? And they weren't even calling it that at home at that time. It was sort of just work from home. And they said, no, it's all or nothing. It's like five days a week in the office or nothing. And I was like, okay. And then it has to be nothing and that's what it was. And so I stayed home with my son. I loved staying home with him and it was great. And then when he was around three years old, there was a shiny new website called Canva that was up and coming.
(07:08):
And also at the same time Instagram was really up and coming. And so this is 2016, and I said to my friends and family, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to start an Instagram account about parenting. And my friends and family were like, what? And I was like, yeah, no, no, it's going to be a thing. It's going to be a thing. Trust me. They're like, I guess so, yeah, okay, good luck with that. I was like, no, I'm going to start an account and I'm going to monetize it. And they're like, no, that's not even a thing right now. I was like, it's going to be a thing. Well, here we are. It became a thing and I was in the right place at the right time. So in 2016, I started the account under the name NYC Mom Props and I was talking about things that are sort of inherently New York City mom problems, whether it's taking your stroller on the subway or getting into expensive preschools or people not holding the door open for you as you're walking in with a stroller. All the things that us New York City moms have to deal with. I know you understand that one Kim one holds
Kim (08:00):
The doors. I now run over. I'm like, may I hold the door
Tara (08:02):
For you? Yes, I only go out of my way to hold doors for people. No one ever did it for me. So then in 2017, we moved from New York City to the suburbs and I had this existential crisis with my account. I was like, I'm not a New York City mom anymore. I have different problems. And so I'll never forget it, it was April of 2017, I was DMing one of my other close Instagram friends and I was like, I want to come up with a new name. So she and I were throwing adjectives at each other. How about this and how about that and how about this? And I said, how about modern mom props? And she was like, yes. So literally the flick of a switch, I rebranded overnight became modern mom props, and then the account just took off from there. And so like I said, that was April, 2017 and here we are now in 2024.
(08:45):
So I've been doing it for a minute. But what's wild about the account and the community in general is when it started, it was a lot about first world problems, very sort of like tongue in cheek mom problems. And then the account evolved over time where I talk about legitimate problems, maternal mental health, anxiety, depression, miscarriage, infertility, all of those things, the mental load of motherhood, all of those things that we as modern moms may experience. And so I like to say that if it falls underneath the umbrella of a modern mom problem, I'm going to talk about it.
Kim (09:16):
I have so many things I want to follow up about. Number one, I love that you actually came from marketing. So you started this Instagram, unlike sometimes content creators sort of do it on a whim, they're just enjoying it. Did you know this is what I want to build, this is how I want to see it. You had a view because you came from marketing, so it wasn't like happenstance. Talk to me about what were the things as you were building it, you were like, this, I'm certain about this is exactly what I want it to be, these things I don't know and I'm going to feel it out. I think you've really found obviously a very good lane, and you built this amazing community. What were the things like a hundred percent yes on this? I don't know about this. And some of them you're right about and some of you're wrong about.
Tara (09:57):
Yeah, no, no, that's an excellent question. I also like to say, and I'm going to preface it like this, I see social media as sort of pre and post pandemic, and I am sort of a pre pandemic social media person where we were doing sort of things our own way and then the pandemic happened, and then there was the explosion of TikTok and there were so many talented people, creators that came out of the TikTok explosion and the pandemic and post pandemic. And so for me, that was a challenge with me in the industry because not that I'm going to call myself a dinosaur, but I had been doing things one way, which was mostly text-based. And then now video is having its moment and now you're forced into doing something that maybe you're a little bit uncomfortable with. And so then you have to reach into yourself and say like, well, you don't normally make video, but video is where it's at right now. And so you have to push yourself a little bit to even continue to be relevant.
Kim (10:55):
I feel like what you build and what some of the most successful things are, those universal truths. So when you're dealing with a quote that speaks to everybody versus you and your voices or other people's voices, how do you balance out how much do I want to keep the quotes that relates to everybody that make people laugh versus injecting myself versus bringing in other people? And I mean their face, their voice on video. How do you balance that? How do you decide what's going to be the balance on that?
Tara (11:21):
That's a great question too, because when I started this, I always said that it was not the Tara Clark show that modern mom problems are about the problems themselves. It's about the topics. And so those topics don't have a face, a voice, a name to them. And this sort of came out of the post pandemic TikTok era of social media where now you sort of have to put a name, a face, a voice to these pieces of content, and that was a switch. Now we're in the age of the brand where everyone has to be a brand and everyone has to represent something. And that's been a struggle for me. Whereas like I said, I always used to want to talk about the topics and the problems. And now it's like I said, it's interjecting me and I am a white woman with brown hair and I sound like this. And it's something that I'm still sort of struggling. I don't know if struggle is the right word, but wrestling with, which is do I really always want all of my topics and all of my quips and all of my thoughts to always be me looking like the way I am? Because I don't think I'm necessarily the universal modern mom,
Kim (12:31):
Right? Right. And so it's interesting, I just had this conversation with a student or a client about that idea of, it's almost like in the old times when we had TV reporters or you can be a general news reporter or a features reporter. And I think that we're used to identity being a big part of things, but also I think there is still space for people to help be a conduit and be a person who brings things to light while sharing voices. And so I think that they're all important conversations to have, but there is space to just be, my role here is a documentarian, or my role here is the aperture of the camera. And so I think it's okay to say sometimes the camera has a voice and sometimes she doesn't have a voice. Sometimes the documentarians voice comes out and sometimes it doesn't. And I think obviously this is my media perspective talking, but I like that we're having the conversation about how much of me should I show, how much of my shouldn't I show? Because I think people have different feelings on that. And by the way, so I had things from earlier that I was dying of laughter that you were Dora, I bet you had family members being like, oh, or not family members. People would be like, you're the voice of Dora, and you're like, no, technically, but no. Yes, that's
Tara (13:42):
Exactly what used to happen.
Kim (13:44):
Yeah. So I wrote and produced the Fabulous Life of Justin Bieber, which was the greatest job of all time for three months. I wrote and produced content about Justin Bieber. That's amazing. I interviewed people about Justin Bieber and I'm like, I'm getting paid to do this. This is really fun. And his music is fun. So anyway, it was awesome job. I find it very interesting. I had the same thing with work where there became that point at which you're having the conversation with your company saying, I want this. I want to work. Or I went to my company. I said, okay, I was leading a 17 person team and doing a very good job. And everybody was like, we love you, you're great. I came back from mat leave. I'm like, I'd like to work from home Fridays. I mean, when you talk about asking for something that is the tiniest ask. Now we see it that way. But back in the day, it was work from home Fridays, what they were like, yeah, we can't do work from home Fridays. I was like, I'm not coming back
Tara (14:38):
It. See, this is simple things. I mean simple to us, maybe not to them in the big corporate structure of these large media companies, but they lost good people.
Kim (14:47):
And I think of it like that. I mean, don't mean this rudely, but my interest is generally not for the corporation. Not that I don't care, but I don't care about them. I care about my family, I care about my community, I care about my children. But I do think it's like a shame because when you talk about the workforce and what people are missing, it's like companies got to miss out on someone who can build a nearly million following million person following Instagram account focused on parenthood, which everybody wants. I mean, any magazine would want that. Any TV show would want that. And so I think the irony is when bosses or corporations can't think broadly or worried that it's going to be unfair, Tara got something that no one else got or whatever their thinking is, same as me. I'm like, you're going to tell me I can't work from on Friday.
(15:33):
I'm just going to leave. I'm just going to bring my skills elsewhere. I'm going to do it for myself. And I think places now, I think you and I, maybe we wouldn't have started our own businesses. I think that had we been having children in 2022 and later, we might not have been doing what we're doing. I mean, I'm glad I am, but I think it's interesting how situationally you have that friction point or that point of change, whatever it's called. You have that moment where you say, which path do I want to take? And you have clarity on it and you're like, I'm just going to take that path. But for sure if we were working, yours was what, 2012? Mine was 2017. I really went full-time, like 2019. But if that was now, we'd probably both still be working in corporate. That's the truth. Yeah,
Tara (16:14):
It I'd be running Nickelodeon by now.
Kim (16:17):
Head of president, CEO. Do you think you would've stayed had they said yeah, you could work? Do you think that your career, you would've stayed doing part-time work for a long time?
Tara (16:24):
I, I really loved that company. I loved the people that I was working with. I was there in total for five years, not necessarily in that same position for five years, but I was at Nick Luon for five years and I really loved it. So yes, I do think I would've stayed.
Kim (16:39):
I also want to remind people, and I think people who don't know the landscape as well, but Nickelodeon and MTV, especially in the early two thousands was basically where everyone wanted to work. Even if you didn't have kids. Nickelodeon was very well respected. MTV VH one, they just knew what to put out there. They had a lot of jobs. It was a fun place to work as a young person. So I do remember that being a very coveted sphere.
Tara (17:00):
It was very cool.
Kim (17:01):
Yeah. Okay. So I want to talk to you about, you are the expert on modern mom probs. So I'd like to talk about what are some of the top things that people come to you? I know that one of them is social media comparison. So let's talk about people comparing themselves on social media and that being a modern mom problem. What do you see as being the biggest problem and how do you recommend tackling it?
Tara (17:23):
Yeah, it is become a huge thing. And I know this because people keep coming to me with it. Or if I ask guests of my podcast, that's the answers that they provide as well. And so what happens many times is that we as modern moms, well grab our cell phones to just get a little bit of me time, right? Scroll your phone a little bit, and then next thing you know, you're just being bombarded with these issues, these images of who has a cleaner house or a whiter kitchen or a thinner dress and all of these things. And you're seeing this, and the next thing you know, your five minutes of what should have been just fun, relaxing time, you are now feeling less than, and you're like, wait a second. I was doing this to as a pick me up and now I feel like garbage.
(18:08):
That's not what I intended here. And that's happening on a really massive scale. You're seeing who's crushing it at work right now, who's crushing it on downloads, who has more followers, who's getting $10,000 deals every other day? And we can't help but internalize that. So whether you are an entrepreneur or a content creator who are also entrepreneurs, it's really hard to just parse through all of that content. And so what I say to people, there are some things that I do. I mean, there's a lot of things that I have to do because I spend so much time on social media that I would lose my mind if I didn't do these things. But within Instagram itself, there are settings that you could go in and you can choose to set your timing to 10 minutes of scrolling. So if you scroll for more than 10 minutes, a dialogue box will pop up and say, time for a break, mark.
(19:04):
So you could either choose to ignore it or you could put your phone down and go for a walk, put your phone down, go do something productive or creative. Also, then by the end of the day, there's also settings within there that you can choose how long of a limit you have on Instagram for the total day. So minus set for an hour. So after an hour's worth of time throughout the entire course of the day, a dialogue box will pop up and say, you've reached your hour. And then again, you could choose to hit, ignore, or you can put your phone down and then go do something different. And that has helped me when it comes to mindlessly scrolling. And many times we're scrolling, especially as entrepreneurs in the name of inspiration, but I want to see what people are doing. What's the trending sound?
(19:51):
What are the videos looking like right now? And yes, I mean, I believe in research as well, but there's something between being very intentional about your research and then mindlessly scrolling, and then next thing you know you feel like garbage and you're not closing the deals that these other people are doing, and you're questioning your life and everything that you've ever done. And so use the settings within Instagram or within the other platforms, pretty sure that TikTok has it as well to help craft your consumption experience. And I always like to say, you should be creating more than you are consuming.
Kim (20:24):
I like that. Yeah, create more than you consume. Love that I see the same. I teach people how to grow their business with video, and I'm always like, you can't compare yourself to someone. You're likely comparing yourself to someone who's been doing it for two years or five years or has a huge team or putting in more money. You're comparing yourself to two months ago, are you showing up more consistently? Are you showing up with more confidence? Is your message stronger? Have you connected with potential clients? So I think that makes it a little easier, but there's always people, I'm the same thing. I'll scroll, I'm just checking up on my clients or just looking for stuff, and then I'll see someone and I'll just feel weirdly jealous and negative, and I'm like, oh, whoa, I didn't mean to do, I'm having a great day. Why did I just do that? And so I think it is all, you have to be super conscious about it.
Tara (21:10):
You really do. Yeah.
Kim (21:12):
Other modern mom problems. One of the things you had told me before we chatted one of the other modern mom problems is a lack of a community. Talk to me about how that pops up as a problem and how you recommend solving it for people.
Tara (21:25):
Yeah, that is a huge issue right across the board, particularly here in the States. When I lived in New York City, that's when I created my account. I was so lonely. I didn't have an in-person village. It was like me and my son hanging out each day. My husband was at work and I felt so lonely. And that's partly why and how I created my account in the first place to sort of reach out to make new friends on the interwebs. Of course, we went to Central Park every day and we would make friends with people in Central Park, but I don't know, nothing ever really quite stuck. And so I know that women across the country are feeling very isolated, very alone. They don't know necessarily how to reach out. Now the wonderful thing is yes, we do have communities like mine, like yours. I mean, there's a ton of motherhood communities and parenting communities online, and I think it's so important to reach out when you feel like you need help, but also don't be shy to make friends.
(22:23):
If you are, and I'm just using this as an example, but if there's a content creator or a parenting expert out there that you like, don't be shy to DM them. Don't be shy to ask a question or if there's another creator whose work you really appreciate, don't be shy just to sort of extend your hands virtually and say, Hey, I really love your work. Keep up the good work. And then that starts a conversation. Or if you say, I'm really struggling with potty training right now. Has anybody else done that? People want to help and they want to be friendly. I've found that people want to be friendly. Now, that may be up for debate, but for the most part, people are looking for friends because everyone does feel isolated compared to previous generations where maybe you were close with your neighbors, your parents lived nearby, you had maybe more sisters or aunties or cousins that were able to physically help in person.
(23:17):
And now for the case for many people is that they don't have in-person family that live nearby to help their children. And so they're looking to online communities. And I saw an interesting TikTok the other day about in the modern world, now you have to pay for your village. And I thought that was really interesting. I don't know if you saw that one, but they were like, in the old world, the village was free. Like I said, it was your cousins, it was your aunties, it was your sisters. Now you have to, for your village, you're paying for daycare, you're paying for nannies, you're paying for a housekeeper, you're paying for expert advice from these parenting experts. And I thought that was such an interesting take on modern parenting.
Kim (24:01):
Yeah, my mom lives close to me. We have a sitter, but my mom was very close to me and I'm so appreciative. My mom will be like, you seem a little stressed. Do you want to go out to dinner with Alex? I'm like, yes, I do. How did you know that? How does she know that she's my mom? So I think there is things like that and the value of asking a for advice from other moms, dads, aunts, uncles, cousins, whoever asking for advice, asking for support. And also sometimes it's not even asking just like my mom will be like, she feels the vibe. She knows me that well in the same way that it's just different. So yes, I agree with that. I remember when I had my first child, I was having a lot of hard time breastfeeding and just feeling like I was just in a lot of pain and crying every other day.
(24:49):
Who knows how much of it was postpartum versus literally physically I was in a lot of pain. And I met this woman, Steph, who's now still a friend of mine. I was like, that lady, what's she doing? She showed up at this mom's meetup she just had a clutch with, that's it. She was wearing her baby with one of those wrappy carrier things, not even the full heaviest canvas, one with one of those bandage style wraps. She was carrying a clutch and nothing else, and she wasn't dressed up. It's just more she had it under control. And I was like, who's that lady? I need to be her friend. I had the stroller, the baby, the bag, the this, the that. I was one of those people who comes to the football game with the beer helmet and the marathoners with the water containers. And I had so much stuff with me, and I just felt like, oh, this is a person who has it under control.
(25:39):
And I got to know her and became her friend and went to one of those Facebook groups of parents of this April, may, June, June, July, August, whatever. But anyway, it really changed my experience. I was definitely in a bad place in a lot of pain by myself. I'd been working five days a week, sometimes seven days a week for years and years. And so all of a sudden you have all this time, but most of the time is broken up by piercing cries and confusion, and you've never been less knowledgeable about something that you're expected to be the expert on ever. So I agree with you a hundred percent, and I'm shouting out. My friend Steph, she's still amazing, but she was especially amazing. Then
Tara (26:16):
I want to explore this, Steph, that she didn't have anything on her. I feel like you're right. When they were babies, you had all the
Kim (26:23):
Gear she had. Okay, one diaper in that little clutch, a little tiny wipes packet, and then her phone and her credit card or whatever. It's like how I go out now. Now I take my kids to school, just have my phone in my butt pocket. I don't even have a bag sometimes. Oh, is the butt pocket. Anyway, sometimes that falls in the toilet anyway, okay. Yeah, no, it's totally true. Yeah, other boys, that's really what
Tara (26:43):
Happens. It's funny that you said that you saw Steph and you're like her, I want to be friends with her. I'm the same way. So my son was in daycare for a brief time when he was an infant, and I did that actually from a social standpoint. I wanted to make mom friends and I wanted him to make baby friends, I guess. So there was this one girl, Laura, and I saw her and I was like, I'm going to be friends with Laura. And it was the same thing. I sought her out, and then we became friends and we were friends for years.
Kim (27:08):
I actually have a few people like that in my life now too. They exuded a nice energy. I know that sounds weird. Maybe it's mirror makes sense mirroring or mimicking or whatever. But I'm always drawn, if I see someone who's positive and they're smiling and they're like upbeat, I'm like, they seem nice. I'm going to be their friend. I was like, I like them. I
Tara (27:23):
Do the same
Kim (27:24):
Thing. Okay, last question about the modern mom problems that I do. I'm going to, what is it? I'm going to pick your brain. I'm going to pick your brain. Just kidding. Talk to me about the other problem you had told me beforehand, the mental load of motherhood. So talk to me about the mental load of motherhood. I think everybody who's a parent feels it. What do you recommend to handle it or tackle it or reframe it?
Tara (27:47):
I'm so glad we're having this conversation, and I'm not just saying this conversation is me and you together, which I am happy that we're doing that, but the conversation about the mental load, because several years ago, I feel like there wasn't even a phrase to go along with the feeling that we as mothers felt. It was sort of like this invisible sense of this invisible weight that we were feeling load. So it was an invisible load that we were feeling, and now we can freely speak about it. You can share your story. I could share my story. And the more that mothers are coming together to sharing their own experiences of this weight, of invisible labor, then we're able to do something about it. So I have people come to me all the time and say, I think that the mental load of motherhood is one of the absolute biggest modern mom problems right now.
(28:37):
And the only way that we overcome it is speaking about it publicly and speaking about it with our partners. If we have partners to sit down and say, Hey, listen, we need to split up our activities because it's all falling on me and I'm only one person and I feel like I'm drowning and I can't do this. I just can't. It's not sustainable. And so I think the conversation about the mental load is so critical and that all couples assuming that you're in a relationship, should sit down and talk about this because it shouldn't all fall on one partner or the other.
Kim (29:13):
And I think it also becomes harder even when one person works more outside the house, even if one partner is working a hundred percent and the other partner is working three days a week or as a stay-at-home parent or some medley. I think there's this mental thing where, well, you're not in an office a hundred percent, so you should do all the other stuff. And that doesn't make sense because all the time is accounted for regardless of what you're doing or where you're at. And so I think there's that. And communication wise, basically several years ago, we were both working equally hard in the office before I started working for myself. Now I have more flexibility, so I resent less taking on more. However, there are certain things that are really time consuming for me where I'm not good at, or quite frankly, sometimes I'm like, I'm not going to do 15 things and you do two, I'm going to give you some of these, but I will be very clear.
(30:09):
I'll say, here are the five things I'd like for you to do this week. I don't care when you do it, but just like, can you do them by next Friday? So I think a lot of times we are used to being efficient. We're doing it in our own way. And I'm not saying it's our fault or anything like that, but when people give someone else an assignment but expect it to be done in the same way they would do it, that's going to be a problem. So I say I would maybe do this in two hours. I take my list and I just attack it really fast on a Friday, two hour chunk, but my husband's working it in to his schedule, figuring out. So I think it's also the communication on that. And sometimes it will get to a point where it's like camp sign up or field trips or something, blah, blah, blah.
(30:49):
And there's a login for school, and my husband will say, oh, I don't have the login, and I'll just look at him and I'm like, open it on my browser. Let's open on my browser. I'm not going to do more because other people or anyone really is sort of choosing to do less. So I think that it's that balance. But my husband's super an amazing part of our household and I think that we've become very clear in that. And there are certain things he's super good at. He's amazing at trip planning. He used to be a management consultant, so he's awesome with drips. I'm like, you're going to do all the hotels and flights. I trust you a hundred percent. Everything he does, I never second guess. So that's the other point, you're going to delegate it done, don't nitpick. It takes a while. I think at the beginning you're like, my workload just tripled and everything tripled, and I'm not necessarily skilled at these things. The other part is a lot of these things you're expected to do, but I'm not necessarily any better at making a food shopping list than anyone else. That's not my area of expertise. No,
Tara (31:47):
But now it is.
Kim (31:48):
Now it is. Now it is. Okay, I'm going a little out of order, but because I have somebody who has organically built an as of right now, 800,000 person following, I want your advice to someone who's trying to build a following.
Tara (32:03):
I think the entire thing revolves around community. Social media at its very core is about community. It's about connections, it's about engagement, it's about conversations. And the more you foster your community in the pursuit of your mission of whatever you're looking to do on social media, everyone always has to look at themselves and say like, well, why am I on social media in the first place? You're not just there just to be there. You're there to get clients, you're there to get exposure, you're there to sell houses, whatever it happens to be. But ultimately at the bottom line, what it all comes down to is building a sense of community, getting people to want to go to your account and say, oh, yeah, I like following this account because X, Y, and Z. They make me feel good about myself. They educate me about this industry. Whatever it is that they're going to your account for, you want them to walk away with a good feeling about it. I think that's the entire thing about building a solid account.
Kim (33:03):
And so when you're talking about community, that's different from, I think sometimes people think of membership. It's not necessarily making people pay to be a part of something, but it's having people feel they are seen, they're heard from. And talk to me about the nitty gritty of how would you recommend someone build that community? How do you foster a positive place where people feel seen and heard and actually want to return to?
Tara (33:26):
Right? I like to ask questions, and it's not just because I'm a podcast host. I mean, I am a naturally curious person anyway, so people like to talk about themselves. So I find whether I'm at a cocktail party or I'm on a podcast or I'm on social media, I get people talking about themselves. And when they do that, they open up, they tend to share. It also gives you an insight into the industry, into your followers, into what people are thinking. So get people talking about themselves, about their interests, about the things that they want to share and feel comfortable sharing. And it could be all different things. It could go from if you're selling homes, it could be talking about what color interiors do you like versus what's your interior style. It's so many different things, so many different open-ended questions to be able to ask.
(34:15):
So definitely ask questions. I think that that's a really big thing. Keep them entertained. People always say you educate, you inform, empower. All of those things need to be rolled into your content. What's going to get people to come back over and over again. And like I said, just from a branding perspective, you want people to walk away from your brand, whether it's you as a personal brand or you as a company with a good feeling, and you want them to think like, oh, when I think of Kim, I think smart wickedly surprisingly funny. Is that what the guy said? Surprisingly funny, smart, shockingly hilarious, but she's an expert on video. All of those things, that's your brand. So you want people to walk away with a certain feeling, and so all of your content should be directed towards that.
Kim (35:05):
And when you talk about asking a question, do you mean just the standard call to action in the post, or you mean in stories or in your posts? Where would you be putting those questions where you're really getting that community?
Tara (35:15):
All of it. I do that on every platform that I'm on. I'll do that in stories because in stories, that's a great way to, no pun intended, but start a story. So if you ask them a question, Hey, did you ever have a guilty pleasure? And then you sort of launch into whatever the following subsequent stories are going to be, right? So that's your hook. So you start with a story or you start with a question as a, and then I do that on the main feed post, and those posts tend to go wild again, people like to talk about themselves. And then on threads, I've recently have just absolutely fallen in love with threads. And there you could ask open-ended questions and people will just go, they like to talk about themselves. They want to feel a part of something, they want to share their own stories. And I think Threads lately has been allowing people to do that in a safer space than Instagram. And I think it's great, especially for entrepreneurs to sort of put themselves out there in a very safe, authentic way.
Kim (36:17):
It's funny, I was just teaching for my video bootcamp students. I was just telling them about sometimes I will do things. So I generally teach about video messaging on camera confidence, basically all the tenets of being a thought leader and stepping into that to get clients. But one of the things, I am kind of loose a little goofy, but that's a part of who I am. I have had two moments in the past year where I just did something really stupid. One of the things was I read the wrong book for a book club. Look, I was 50% of the way in, and my friend's like, oh, are you reading the Takeaway? I'm not the takeaways, or whatever it was. And I basically had read the wrong book. So I got on Instagram stories and was like, guys, this is embarrassing. I'm not going to lie.
(36:57):
This is embarrassing. And I read half of the wrong book for book club, and I was like, what have you done embarrassing lately? And all these people started contributing, and I've been giving that as an example to my students. Even if you don't have a big following, people love seeing the real side of you and then sharing funny things that they might not have an outlet for. Maybe that's just like, oh, I forgot I did that funny thing. And so I like your point of really building it in. And even if you don't have a huge following, you will start to see people reacting, whether you have 50 followers, 500 followers, 10,000 followers, whatever. People want to be there for you with you cheering you on. And speaking of that, I will say, what do you say to people who say they feel self-conscious, or that they're not going to get support, not that they're going to get trolled, but they feel like there's going to be negative or, or what would you tell people like that?
Tara (37:47):
That's something that I struggled with myself, and I've been doing this now for seven years. I'll see myself on camera and be like, oh, I don't like the way my hair looks that day, or I don't like the way that I sound, and why do I speak like that and why do I have an accent? Whatever it happens to be. So just know that you are not alone in feeling like that, that people who literally do this for a living feel like that as well. So what I would say is just put that aside for now. Acknowledge that feeling and your feelings are valid in that, but put that aside and then go out there and make some freaking awesome videos. It's all about the confidence. I think, obviously in everything you say it, it's the A, B, C, right? And with the C is the confidence. And so you just take a deep breath, put your shoulders back, keep your heads up, and just go do those videos and just crush 'em.
Kim (38:34):
What Tara's talking about. I was on Tara Show, and I'll promote it on my social and everything, but I have the A, B, C of how to pitch. So accomplishments, business and confidence. And I really believe it doesn't matter if I remember when I first started posting, not often, but every once in a while I'd make a, here's how to go viral. And I would make a video showing people, and someone would be like, what do you know about going viral? You have 1300 followers. At that point, I had 1300 followers.
Tara (38:58):
That's so mean.
Kim (39:00):
I'm like, well, I don't know. I worked in media outlets and I've had 500,000 views for companies, so I am a hundred percent a video expert and a media expert. Am I a huge influencer? No. And I was just like, F you. I deleted that comment, and I was like, you're a loser. That's
Tara (39:14):
Usually what I do too. Yeah,
Kim (39:15):
I deleted the comment. I'm like, you're a loser. Go back to your sad basement and continue to drink soda and eat Cheetos or whatever, and troll
Tara (39:22):
People you don't know.
Kim (39:23):
And I'm like, you know what? It's a lot harder to go out there and do it than to sit back and judge. And so I think that I like your idea of just be confident and fake it till you make it, and also build, to your point, building that community. I have found it was very helpful once I started getting some fellow cheerleaders, some other, especially women, but just people definitely heavier women in terms of my initial cheerleaders, just being like, that's a great post. Funny, good point. Just to be like, oh, somebody saw this and is giving me a thumbs up. And of course on the backend, the more engagement you have, it shows your content more or whatever. Okay, we got your advice. I want to get all of the juice out of Tara's brain. So we got your advice about how to grow your following. Talk to me about those moments that you had big growth moments. So a lot of people, I've talked to a lot of people on the show about when they grew their business or their brand, there's that bump here, there's that next bump. Did you see there were certain inflection points? Were there growth moments? What were they and what led to them?
Tara (40:21):
Sure. As I mentioned earlier, April of 2017, I changed the name to Modern Mom props, and then the account itself just took off from there. I mean, I was the algorithms darling at that moment. Whether I did anything for it, I'm not sure. I think I was in the right place at the right time. And so I often say that, not that I'm not giving myself credit, I should give myself credit. I was consistent and I posted and I was posting things that resonated with people. So I should take a second to pat myself on the back on that. And with that, I had a lot of opportunities. A publisher came to me, wanted me to write a book, which I did in 2021. People came to me and said, Hey, do you want to do a podcast? Which I did, and that was April of 2022.
(40:58):
And so with a certain level of following doors open up for you, which is amazing. And opportunities not just with a social media following, but just in general, the more you're crushing it on your real estate and your closing deals, more opportunities are going to open up for you. And regardless of the industry that you're in, I think the more you're in the arena, going back to what we were saying before about the man in the arena versus the people that are home trolling us from their basements, the more you are in the arena, the more opportunities are going to open up for you.
Kim (41:32):
I love that. Talk to me about how many people are helping you create content right now?
Tara (41:36):
Me.
Kim (41:37):
You are doing it all. You're doing it all.
Tara (41:40):
The only thing, no. Okay. So I'll give you a background of my team. It's funny you say that. I was recently interviewed on NBC in Boston, and they asked the same question and I said, me, and she was like, what? Her name was Maria Sansone. So I'll give a shout out to Maria Sansone. She was like, what? So I have an assistant who does administrative stuff, and then I have my podcast production team, which is based out of Oklahoma. They used to live in Brooklyn, and then they moved from Brooklyn to Oklahoma, which I feel is a really big stretch. So, so they handled my production for the show, and then everything else I do myself. So I am a busy girl, but lately I feel like the podcast has been taking up most of my time just from a pre-production, post-production marketing kind of thing.
Kim (42:26):
I'm always interested in seeing for your podcast and your social, what is the podcast? How is it a part of your business? What is it doing for your business? Talk to me about that.
Tara (42:34):
Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it was a very natural extension of the brand. So years ago, maybe three years ago or so, I was doing tons of Instagram lives, and I'd love to doing Instagram lives. And so I loved connecting with people. I love asking questions. I love getting to know people. I love growing my network. I love people sharing what they know. And so when I was approached about the podcast, they said, would you be interested in doing a show? And I was like, yes. And so I've been doing it since April of 2022, and I've had so many phenomenal guests. And how that's an extension is that it gives my audience an opportunity to see me as me in not a performative way. What you are getting right now is really Tara, more so than me in a ten second reel or me acting out something, or me sitting my phone somewhere and I don't know, just doing some B roll in the background. This is me, and you're getting all of my insight and my voice and my hands. See, I can't stop moving my hands, which I could probably sit on them so that I'm not putting them all over the place. But what I love about the podcast is that we're able to accomplish work and think through ideas in 40 minutes versus a four second reel. And there is a time and a place for reels. And I'm not saying that there isn't, but to deep dive into certain topics, you need more time and focus to do so.
Kim (43:56):
Yeah. Yeah, totally. Talk to me about your box.
Tara (43:59):
Oh yeah, sure. So Modern Mom Style Box is a clothing rental subscription service where each month you receive a box of clothing, and I'm looking at it because literally right over there and I have to make content for it later today. So that's why I'm looking in that direction. So you receive three items of clothing that you can wear or swap out, and the quicker you send the box back, then the quicker you get another box. There's been times where I've received maybe three or four boxes a month, so I just have a continuing rotating wardrobe of new clothes, which is so much fun. And if you really love an outfit and you're like, oh, I don't want to give this back, there was this really cute jumpsuit that I received, I think it was last month, and I was like, oh, I need that. I am not sending this back. And so then I bought it and it was like 75% off or something like that. But it's just fun to always have new clothes. And if you're a content creator who always needs to be seen in a different outfit, if you're a realtor who always needs to be in a different dress, and I'm just saying dress because I'm saying as a female, but it's a great way to constantly have new clothes in your wardrobe. So yeah, modern mom style box.
Kim (45:04):
Okay, Tara, this is the best. The only thing that would've made it better is wine. Anyway, thank you so much for joining us. Where can people find you? How can they support you and your amazing brand?
Tara (45:14):
Yeah, so literally, I'm so big on branding. Everything is Modern Mom Probs, so please follow me on Instagram at Modern Mom Probs. I have a website, modernmomprobs.com. I have a book, modern Mom Probs, a Survival Guide for 21st Century Mothers. Listen to my podcast with the same name. Subscribe to Modern Mom Style Box, do all the things. Let's be friends. Let's hang out on threads. I'm on threads all the time now. It's my new favorite place to hang out.
Kim (45:36):
Awesome. Thank you, Tara.
Tara (45:37):
Thanks for having me.
Kim (45:39):
And if you enjoyed this show, please take a screenshot while you're listening and tag me on Instagram at Kim Rittberg Kim R-I-T-T-B-E-R-G, and I'll reshare it. Thanks so much. Until next time,
Kim (45:55):
Thank you for joining us. Don't forget to exit the grind and enter success on your own terms. This is the exit interview with Kim Rittberg. Don't forget to grab my free download, how to Grow Your Business with Amazing video at kimrittberg.com and linked out in the show notes. I love to hear your feedback. Make sure to submit to me what you learned from the show and how you are crushing it on your own terms. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn at Kim Rittberg, R-I-T-T-B-E-R-G. And this show is edited by Jillian Grover and produced by Henry Street Media. I'm your host and executive producer, Kim Rittberg.