What If the Thing Holding You Back Isn't a Lack of Discipline?
The Science Behind Why Your Limiting Beliefs Are the Real Reason You're Not Showing Up on Video
If you've ever thought:
"Who am I to be doing this?"
"I'm not an expert."
"People are going to judge me."
"I'll start when I feel more confident."
You're not alone.
I've coached thousands of executives, founders, entrepreneurs, and real estate professionals on video and public speaking. And after all those sessions, I've noticed something surprising:
Most people don't have a video problem.
They have a belief problem.
They know video builds trust.
They know content creates opportunities.
They know showing up consistently helps grow a business.
Yet they still don't post.
Why?
Because of the story running quietly in the background.
THE MISSING PIECE OF MOTIVATION
This idea became even clearer to me after speaking with bestselling author Nir Eyal, whose latest book, Beyond Belief, explores how our beliefs shape our actions.
Most people think motivation works like this:
You know what to do.
You know why you should do it.
Then you do it.
But Nir argues there's a third piece that's often overlooked:
Belief.
He describes motivation as a triangle:
Behavior
Benefit
Belief
You can know that video helps grow your business.
You can know you should post consistently.
But if somewhere in the back of your mind you believe:
"I'm going to look stupid."
"I'm not qualified."
"Who am I to be giving advice?"
You're probably not going to hit publish.
Or you'll record yourself 47 times, hate every version, and never post at all.
WHY FEAR OF JUDGMENT KEEPS PEOPLE STUCK
One of the biggest beliefs I see in my coaching work is the fear of being judged.
People worry they'll sound awkward.
Look inexperienced.
Get negative comments.
Or simply be ignored.
The irony?
The people who worry most about being judged are often the people with the most valuable insights to share.
They've spent years building expertise.
Helping clients.
Solving problems.
Yet they convince themselves they aren't ready.
Meanwhile, less qualified people are showing up every day without hesitation.
The difference isn't talent.
It's belief.
BELIEFS AREN'T FACTS
Here's the good news.
A belief is not a fact.
And it's not permanent.
One of the concepts Nir shares is a process called inquiry-based stress reduction.
When you notice a belief that's holding you back, start by asking yourself:
Is it true?
Is it absolutely true?
Who am I when I believe this?
Who would I be without this belief?
Most people never stop long enough to question the stories they're telling themselves.
They simply accept them as reality.
But once you start examining a belief, it often loses some of its power.
TRY ON A DIFFERENT STORY
One of my favorite parts of Nir's framework is the idea of testing the opposite belief.
Think of it like trying on a new pair of shoes.
Instead of:
"People are going to judge me if I post this video."
Try:
"People paying attention to my content means I'm getting visibility."
Instead of:
"I'm not ready."
Try:
"I'm becoming more confident every time I practice."
Instead of:
"Who am I to be doing this?"
Try:
"Who am I not to share something that could help someone else?"
You don't have to believe the new story forever.
Just try it for a week.
Notice how it changes your actions.
THE CAMERA ISN'T THE HARD PART
This is something I tell clients all the time:
The camera isn't the hard part.
The hard part is what happens in your head before you hit record.
If your internal script is:
"I'm going to look bad."
"I'm going to sound dumb."
"Nobody cares what I have to say."
Your behavior will follow that script.
But if you can shift—even slightly—to:
"I have something valuable to share."
"I'm learning."
"I'll get better every time I do this."
Everything changes.
You don't need to become fearless.
I wasn't fearless at my first keynote.
Nir isn't fearless every time he gets on stage.
The goal isn't eliminating fear.
The goal is changing the story you tell yourself about it.
Because when your beliefs change, your actions change.
And that's where real confidence begins.
Ready to clarify your message and show up with confidence?
And if you want to get better on camera or on stage, grab this free download - How to Be A Non Cringey Thought Leader!
Want to have me teach your team how to be seen as a thought leader?
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Meet Kim: Kim Rittberg runs an award-winning company that helps real estate agents & business owners grow their leads, income and credibility with video and podcasts. Before that, Kim was a TV news producer for a decade and trained thousands of people to be calm, cool and collected for live TV interviews. She also launched the digital video unit for Us Weekly leading to its $100 million sale, and was a video marketing executive at Netflix & PopSugar. She’s been featured in Forbes and Fast Company, and speaks on stages across the country. Kim ditched corporate once she found herself working in the hospital delivery room as she gave birth (seriously!) and now she is committed to helping business owners, coaches, agents & consultants find your own balanced path and build a thriving business!